The Beginning

June 2002. Got laid off. My position eliminated. I am 55 years old. Now that I have time off, I plan to write, but I come to the computer more for surfing and playing card games. The fact is I’m stunned, defeated and deflated. I was planning on coasting into retirement in another six years. I do not have the ambition to start over.

In the tech field from which I was dismissed, there is no work. Any step down that I try to take is greeted with words like “over qualified,” or “when the market takes an upswing, you’ll leave.”

As a kid I remember watching old movies where some guy got a gold watch after 30 years. It was a myth I believed in.

I see someone finally pruned the roses. I sit and stare out my window like an old person. There’s a hummingbird. Whoops! It’s gone.

I went to a memorial service today. They mean more to me now that I am closer to death. What I mean is not that I’m sick or anything, but there is this line you cross chronologically where you can’t pretend you’re young anymore and you can’t even look young without plastic surgery. There’s just no fooling anyone anymore. Your ugly!

I see out my window, a woman just walked out to the swimming pool. She has one of those swimsuits with the skirt on it.

At the memorial service it was nice to see all the generations gathered together. You can know what the youngest grandson will become as you observe how the scars of time lay on the flesh of the oldest remaining grandparent. Also, at the service the young parents talk about how wonderful it is to take a nap.

For me, empty time stretches out as I look at cloud patterns. I am not tired. I am restless and lonely. I need some excitement in my life.

So I became a substitute teacher. And that is what this blog is all about and I call it Sub Chronicles.